Beware the Magnetetron!

I don’t mean to be alarmist, but if you are anywhere in the vicinity of where I am taking pictures, please take note. Both Nikon and Hasselblad have installed a TOP SECRET MAGNETETRON in their respective cameras that they sold to me. I have been aware of it for several years now, but my wife finally confirmed it with the picture below. Allow me to explain.

It seems as if every time I stop in a location to photograph, within a few minutes  a flock of people will suddenly stop, get out of their car, and snap away. This has happened so often I just knew that my cameras had this super-powerful magnet hidden inside that draws in people like, well, a magnet! Some examples…

I once had a tiny little foreign tourist actually shove me away from where I was standing and snap away with her equally tiny camera while I was photographing whales five years ago. In the Yukon I have had a busload of tourists come to a rumbling halt and disgorge 15 people, along with a cloud of dust, right where I stood with a camera and strap on my shoulder (the truth is that I had just stopped to pee, but that’s another story).

No matter where I am the same thing happens. Last year I was in a remote location two days from civilization and a passing hiker laden with what looked like a three-story, two-ton backpack actually stopped, took out his camera from under some pots and pans and stood not six inches from me to take a photo. Okay, I’m exaggerating… he was 12 inches from me.

In Hawaii last week I stopped at a lookout that barely fit two cars on a narrow, winding road overlooking a 500-foot drop. Still, several other cars stopped - one of them on the road!- and people got out to take a picture. Aha!! This time my wife caught them in the act!

 

So, there, proof of my Magnetetron theory. But, beware ladies. My Magnetetron also makes highly detailed images of your naked torsos. You have been warned!

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